We want you to fail!
"Wait a minute!" you might say. "You want us to do what? Fail?" Yes, failure can be the "F' word in school because most people see failure as a flunk out, the end, and we all know that this is NOT an option in school. But what if you were to learn that most of the greatest achievers, the best athletes, the most successful people in the world have failed many, many times before they achieved success? That they rarely did things by themselves, and they were often told that they would not amount to anything. What made them keep going? What made them not give up?Take a look at the clip from the movie Meet The Robinsons and maybe you will get some clues.
How to get past thehurt of failure
Even though it is very inspirational to read about famous people failing, and how they were able to keep going against all odds, it is still very hard for the majority of us to overcome the sadness when failure hits. It takes time to learn how to pick yourself up and start all over again, but, rest assured, just like anything else you train your brain to do, you will get better at moving past your mistakes, your failures, and know it is just part of the process. There is a saying "Fall down 7 times, get up 8." So, learning how to fail successfully will also take a lot of practice. You will fall down a lot, but if you continue to practice techniques to pick yourself back up, you will learn to restart your brain on the road to success.Ok, so how do you change? How do you stop feeling so bad about yourself when you fail? We all have different strategies, but try some of these things listed below first to see if they help. They are not going to immediately do the trick, and as you are learning anything new you must make the effort to practice them before you do them even without thinking about it. Know that your failures do NOT define all of you. Your failures are only things that happen to you, and they do not show the world the WHOLE person you are!Stop the Playlist!Ever get a song stuck in your head and you cannot stop singing it? That is what happens with our self-talk too. When we fail we have some pretty awful things we keep saying to ourselves, and these things can keep us feeling very sad and frustrated. You will be saying things like, "I am suppose to be smarter than this" "Smart people do not need to try this hard." "Something is really wrong with me" "I am so stupid for not seeing that!"Just like in iTunes, you need to change the playlist of your thoughts. You need to make an effort to remix your playlist and get some better thoughts playing inside your head!Read some great quotes from this site or Google "great failures" to get some uplifting words. Tell yourself:"I am one step closer to succeeding""I am just like all of the many others who have failed.All I have to do is work to get by this roadblock.""I had an idea, I took a risk and tried it out. I was really courageous""Every time I fail, my bran is learning something new and getting stronger.""I can do this! I have everything I need,I just need time to put things in order.""This is all part of GOOD HARD FUN!"Writing is Releasing
- Be your own best friend: Pretend you are trying to cheer your best friend up. What would you day to him/her to make them feel better after they made a mistake? Write a letter to your best friend (yourself) to cheer them up.
- Stop the blame game: The first thing most of us want to do when we fail is to blame somebody else for the mistake. Instead, take an honest look at what happened, examine your own actions, and determine how you can change things. Figure out another way around the failure. BUT sometimes you need to be mad at someone or something. That is normal to feel this way when you are frustrated, and it is ok to have these feelings of anger, but it is what you do with this anger that will either help or hurt you. Instead of saying things out loud and hurt people, try to grab a piece of paper and write out your frustrations. It is best to throw the paper away when you are done.
After the smoke has cleared...Examine what went wrongAfter you have cleared your head by using some of the techniques above you can get a fresh look at your project. Every great scientist and inventor will have to go back to the drawing board to recreate steps to see what went wrong, or maybe make some adjustments to test out a new idea. It is also great to have a friend take a look at your steps, because a fresh set of eyes can really help see things that are not so apparent to you.
- Taking a short walk and getting yourself away from the the scene of the failure can help you remove yourself from the frustration.
- Throw a ball, shoot some baskets, ride your skateboard for at least 10- 20 minutes. Get your heart moving. You will feel better by releasing the pent up stress of not feeling successful.
Did you know...
R.H. Macy: The founder of Macy’s department store failed at seven previous business attempts.
Colonel Sanders (Kentucky Fried Chicken) : Harland Davis Sanders’ famous chicken was rejected 1,009 tunes before a restaurant accepted it.
Thomas Edison: He conducted experiments on his concepts 9,000 times before he created the lightbulb.
Post-It Notes: A scientist at 3M Company was working to create a super-strong adhesive; it was a failure. Instead, he accidentally made a reusable, pressure sensitive adhesive that later was utilized in sticky notes.
- Chocolate Chip Cookies: Ruth Wakefield, owner of the Toll House Inn, was trying to make her chocolate cookie recipe and discovered that she was out of baker’s chocolate. She decided to take sweet chocolate and break it into little pieces, adding them to the cookie dough and thinking that they would melt while they were baked. Instead, the little pieces stayed together. She did not have her chocolate cookies in the end, but discovered the chocolate chip cookie through this failure!